


holding on for dear death

by a_space_pony



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_space_pony/pseuds/a_space_pony





	1. Chapter 1

When Thor saw the life drift out of Loki's eyes, he thought _liar._ He waited, patiently, for the glamour to shift, for the familiar magic, and for Loki to be standing somewhere, completely unharmed.

He waited, and even as he crawled towards and felt Loki's corporeal, cold body beneath his hands, he thought _liar._

He welcomed the vacuum of space like an old friend.

 

Then he woke up, and there were faces he'd never seen around him, and he wondered for a moment if he'd died. He searched for Loki among the strangers and found, to his disappointment, that, no, he was still alive.

 

Every reflection on every surface caused a flinch, a second glance, a hitch of breath. Every reflection was a chance.

And every surface was a liar.

 

When he saw the first person turn to dust before him, he waited. He stared at his hands and he waited. But his dust never came.

He watched the rest of them fade and he wished he could be in their place. Envy found a home in his head.

Why couldn't the god of mischief be a trickster one more time?


	2. Chapter 2

Loki did not believe he would be going to Alfheim. Helheim was the only place for him, for people like him. He'd done so many wrongs, tricked and lied to so many, that he was prepared for eternal torture.

So it came as a surprise when he was not in Helheim at all, nor any Midguardian variation of it. He'd become a ghost instead. The instant his neck snapped, pain flashed through him, but it was momentary--only a flash.

Then he was floating over Thor's mourning body, and he almost felt he was betraying his brother again. Deceiving him again. He witnessed a private moment that no one should have ever seen.

The ship exploded and Loki soared to find his corpse among the debris, expecting to find Thor's along with it. Maybe his brother could join him in his newfound spirituality. Maybe, after a few decades of flying about with no one else to distract them, they could sort out their differences.

He doubted it.

He found Thor first, peaceful as can be, not far from Loki's own body. The gods drifted aimlessly for a while, time seeming to be a useless construct, until there was a particularly quick movement in the corner of Loki's eye.

A ship was approaching.


	3. Chapter 3

The ship that had found Thor and Loki's body turned out to be friendly. _Probably,_ Loki thought. He wasn't in the mood to figure out the psychology of these people, how to twist them around his finger. There was no use anymore.

He clung onto that reason with a mania. It was definitely not because he couldn't figure them out at all. What kind of team could be so dysfunctional and capable at the same time? A team that called themselves the guardians of the galaxy, apparently.

Loki was attempting to sleep in midair--come on, what else was there to do?--when Thor suddenly woke. Unfortunately, he hadn't been paying much attention, but his interest was piqued when Thor rolled off the table, ready to pounce, and a flow of conversation began between his brother and the strangers. Thor had a tendency to do that, when he wasn't bashing in his enemies' heads.

Listening raptly, Loki managed to pick up on nearly all of their names. The tree person was especially interesting, along with the talking raccoon. No, all of them were especially interesting.

Except that human. Loki scoffed at his pitiable confidence, riddled with holes and yet somehow still standing. He imagined Thor might have turned out that way, had he not been born on Asgard and raised as royalty.

What would _he_ have turned out like, if he hadn't been--

 

Right. He wasn't born on Asgard.

He found the rest of Thor's conversation rather dull.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

No response. Not even a twitching of the bug girl's antennae.

Loki sighed. He'd hoped that whatever scraps of magic he had left could be used to communicate with the real world. The futility of staying near someone who hated him until his last breath, the futility of it _all,_ struck him only when he settled next to Thor, who was now awake, and began an apology. He hadn't planned much of it, so he started with the basics.

"I'm sorry" was all he got out before he saw his brother's glittering eyes and the tiny water droplets falling from them. It took a good few seconds to register that the god of thunder was crying before him, crying in a ship full of people he'd met minutes ago.

Crying over him, he assumed at first. But he thought about all the people that had been lost on that spaceship, the ones that hadn't managed to escape. The ones slaughtered by Thanos and his minions, stabbed and slashed and thoroughly murdered. Thor couldn't be crying over _him_ of all people. He was more likely to cry over Thanos himself, if Loki were to be honest.

He left then, passed through the walls of the ship--though he'll admit that he did test his intangibility with a wary foot first--and tucked himself away somewhere in the inner workings of the engine. He focused on the hum of it as he willed away the impossible tightening of his throat. He wasn't going to cry.


End file.
